she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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