Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
