Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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