Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
