Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
