i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
