ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize