i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
