You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
