i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
