yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
