I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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