Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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