Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize