the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
