I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
