Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
