The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize