She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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