Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
