So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
