I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
