im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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