i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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