yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
