Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
