You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
