I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
