the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am naked and annoyed.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
