how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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