But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
