Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
