Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
