My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I could fuck to npr.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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