He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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