went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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