Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think your dad took our porno
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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