Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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