I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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