Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Blood and glitter go together right?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
