Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
