Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
