I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
