Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize