I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
