When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
