She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How's work?
Spinning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize