Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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