we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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