Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its about making memories worth repressing
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
