You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
