I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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