real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
