Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Couch. On fire.
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