i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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