and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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