Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
