how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
