Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
