We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
