That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
