I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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