Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
