That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
