Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
