Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
