Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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