Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
