I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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