she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
