You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
porn star boner night. come get it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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