So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize