If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
