when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
